Polyamory Is A Bad Idea
Probability suggests it’s not for you
Polyamory has come back into fashion recently and whilst it’s good we’re living in a more open and tolerant society, I, for one, do not welcome this particular development without a measure of scepticism. To be clear, I don’t think that polyamory is an immoral choice or an invalid choice, but it is not a viable choice for most people. Statistically speaking you — yes, you, the person reading this article — are not good enough at romantic relationships to have more than one at a time.
Because of the circle of friends I happen to have, I see a lot of people attracted to the polyamorous lifestyle. From the perspective of an interested outsider, it appears that many are unwilling to do the work required to ensure their relationships — and themselves — are healthy. Whilst I do see the appeal of polyamory (who wouldn’t want more love, sex and affection in their lives?) with more highs there come more lows. I have observed that many are simply in denial about how much extra work simultaneous relationships require.
If you want to be a member of the polyamorous community you need to be extra careful about pre-screening your partners. You have to explore how this person handles jealousy and their emotional intelligence on top of meeting all the other usual criteria for selecting a romantic partner…
