Little Miss Nice
Boundaries > Compliance
Please stop trying to be ‘nice’. Just stop.
You can always be genuinely kind, but you can’t make other people like you more just by being ‘nice’ or ‘nicer’.
When I tried to be ‘nice’ I was walked all over. People respect — and like — people with strong boundaries.
Women are conditioned to be ‘nice’ e.g. obedient and compliant, often to the detriment of their own well-being.
You may have to let go of the fact that this will mean a lot of people won’t automatically — or ever — like you. That’s tough but worth it.
Women are given a lot of heat for not being perfectly compliant. I’ve heard female leaders be called: “bossy” - even when they’re literally the boss.
Don’t let people take from you without the expectation of getting anything back yourself. Don’t be a pushover.
I don’t think it’s wise to teach children to be perfectly obedient. An obedient child may be adorable, but an obedient adult is kinda creepy.
Unless you’re into that sort of thing in private. No judgement.
Developing stronger boundaries, learning to say ‘no’ and being assertive without being aggressive has made me both happier and more effective.
Qualities that are not ‘nice’ can be useful too. Sometimes difficult people are the best people to do difficult jobs.
Stubbornness, grit, perseverance, assertiveness, cunning, being overly enthusiastic or “too extra” about something.
None of these are ‘nice’ qualities. But try being successful without them. Don’t be Little Miss Nice if it means compromising your own success.
Boundaries and assertiveness will always be more valuable than compliance.
Thank you for reading — I hope you found my thoughts interesting. You can find links to my other work here: https://linktr.ee/sayde.scarlett
